I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
