Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
