sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
