I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
