Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize