If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
