I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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