sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
