i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
