You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My pussy is not your playground.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
