Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
