none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
