We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
