I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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