I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
