pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
