I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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