i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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