Do you still have your period?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize