your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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