She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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