There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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