i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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