we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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