My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize