i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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