hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
