you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
