either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Randomize
