well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
