using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its about making memories worth repressing
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
