Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
