I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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