just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
