is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize