its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
