Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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