I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
