Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize