I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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