yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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