we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
