Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
