I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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