ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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