those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
