You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
