It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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