Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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