i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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