A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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