i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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