so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
