someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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