The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
