Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
