its not stalking. its research.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
