just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
