my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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